Bust Magazine - October/November 2006

Scary Funny
Interview by Jill Soloway. Photos by Emily Shur.
SNL comedy queen Amy Poehler gets down and dirty with fellow jokester Jill Soloway about producing, pubes, and the power of the period

(Click on images for larger version.)

"You people are all afraid of my menses! Do not fear the menses!" These are the first words I hear when I pop into the studio where Amy Poehler is getting her pictures taken for BUST. She's play-yelling at the photographer, hair guy, and makeup chick, whilst covered in blood (fake), a wig (workable), and a pastel-y dress (horrifyingly perfect). She's playing the role of Carrie, who, as Amy explains to the crew, was actually suffering from her friends' fear of female power as symbolized by pig's blood. Amy isn't sure if Stephen King knew Carrie was about fear of female power when he wrote it, she says, but she's pretty dang positive that her theory is correct. I completely agree.

Amy and I agree on a lot of things. Maybe that's because we both came out of the improv-comedy world of Chicago. I left in 1992, which was just about when she arrived, so we never got to hang out, though it's possible we may have made out with a couple of the same guys. We didn't meet till many years later, when I was working as a writer/producer on HBO's Six Feet Under and she was a featured player on Saturday Night Live, but as grads from the same sorority at the same comedy college, we hit it off immediately. Amy was attending a party for my book, Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants, where she read and performed a chapter aloud and stole the show. Everyone was awestruck by her, yet sweet, sweet Amy--she was awestruck by Lili Taylor's and Lauren Ambrose's presence at the event. She even said she was more nervous than when she went live on SNL to a gazillion people.

These days the 35-year-old comic is preparing to further expand her audience. While she's already played bit parts in a few films (Mean Girls, Deuce Bigalow), this summer saw her in Los Angeles working on a number of movies in which she either stars, produces, or both. And it's about damn time. The Boston College grad, who was born and raised in the industrial town of Burlington, MA, is beginning her sixth season as a featured player on SNL, and that's only the most high-professional gig on an impressive and lengthy comedy resume that includes a wide variety of improv troupes, sitcoms, and films. She's also half of an indie-comedy power couple; her husband of three years is Arrested Development's Will Arnett (she appeared in a few episodes as his character's wife), and the two consider N.Y.C. their home.

As the hair and makeup people cleaned the pig's blood out of her hair, Amy began jumping up and down to the Sufjan Stevens song playing on the CD player. "I love this song!" she shouted. "It's about John Wayne Gacy!" Finally squeaky clean and wearing an adorable sundress, Amy and I decide to go to Factor's--a yummy, Jew-y deli nearby--for corned-beef sandwiches and conversation. What follows is what transpired between us, sans the grody chewing sounds.

SO AMY, HOW did you get started in the business?
Well, I went to school at Boston College, and did improv there. And then I moved to Chicago to do Second City and Improv Olympic and stayed there for a couple of years. And then I met up with these guys who were part of the Upright Citizens Brigade, and I moved to New York with them. And then I waited ten long years to finally be able to make $50 million a picture.
That's what you're making now? $50 million?
Well, I'm getting one percent of it now but I'm told that I'm going to get the rest of it soon. [laughs]
What's this movie you're shooting?
It's called Spring Breakdown, and it stars myself, Parker Posey, and Rachel Dratch. Dratch is actually co-writer and producer on it, too. And it's about these three ladies that never quite got it together in college and go back and try to do spring break one last time. It's been really supergreat having a lot of lady energy on the set. I know BUST loves the ladies, as do I.
I love BUST. I have a subscription...
I do, too! I love it, and have a subscription, and I have ordered many products from their ads.
Like the Lunapads?
I don't know what those are.
They're recyclable menstrual pads. You just rinse them out! So at the shoot, you were talking about the film Carrie--
And how it's just the representation of the fear of female power, and that Carrie is really being drenched in her own menstrual blood. You remember the beginning, when they throw those pads at her? Also, Carrie is a great movie if you want to check out some full, '70s bush.
Really?
In the first couple of scenes in Carrie, the bush is high and wide. High and wide.
Do you think there's going to be any kind of bush replacement, if it comes back in style, for people who've lasered it off?
I don't know. At SNL, we were looking at this Penthouse, and the women had such a small amount of hair, it wouldn't even qualify as a fake mustache anymore.
You mean the mustaches on the--
The vagina mustaches. Meaning the ladies had what would be considered a pencil-thin vagina mustache.
And in the old days, they had clown wigs down there.
They had huge, natural 'fros. So if you yearn for that, rent Carrie. It's filled with giant pubic 'fros.
Whose bushes, exactly?
I don't think Sissy Spacek did a bush. I think she did a double.
A bush double?
Uh-huh. I don't know if any of the principals showed bush. Maybe Amy Irving, I'm not sure.
She's got a great bush. She's known for it.
[laughs] She's known for it!
And Kate Capshaw doesn't like to talk about it. She can't grow as full a bush. I'm sure this is what they want us to be talking about.
They do! It's BUST, for God's sake!
Okay, let me get back to my questions. Here's something I'm curious about: Considering you love BUST, do you have any sort of a feminist agenda?
That's a good question. What I would like to see right now are some female comedy stars over 30. You know, when we were growing up, there were female leads over 30 in comedies who actually looked like they could live in your apartment building. Like Terri Garr, Lily Tomlin, Bette Midler, Diane Keaton--
So what do you think happened?
I don't know. I mean, I was watching the MTV Movie Awards, and when they announced the nominees for Best Comedic Performance, I don't think there was one chick in there.
Right. It was probably Owen Wilson, Ben Stiller, Jack Black--
Right. And they are deserving of their success, but it felt a little thin, if you will. It felt a little--
Like a tiny pubic mustache?
[laughs] Right! I want female comedies to be like full, giant '70s bushes right now, not tiny little pubic mustaches.
I think that's the perfect metaphor. Like, women have this tiny little square of real estate that they're allowed to stand on to be considered acceptable.
You're totally right. And also there's this whole thing right now with all these skinny ladies, where girls are looking like they're starving and dying. Remember Gabrielle Reece and Cindy Crawford? They were strong ladies! I want my built ladies back.
I didn't see Nacho Libre, but when I saw posters for it I thought, God, what would it be like for a woman to open a movie with a big old belly stickin' out, in tights?
I know! And then, you realize that if you can be unself-conscious like that, you win. I'm doing this movie with Will Ferrell, it's called Blades of Glory--it's a skating movie--and he's hilarious, and awesome, because he's completely unself-conscious.
Totally free.
He is totally free. And I think that, as women, you have to keep working at that. Because it's hard. I mean, I consider myself someone who's not afraid of looking crazy, and when I first did "Weekend Update" and I saw my big face, I was like, "Oh, my God." You can't help it; you just look at it and see all the imperfections.
Do you have any rules for yourself, like "No Botox"? I've decided that when I really need plastic surgery, I'm just gonna move to Northern California and wear muumuus and have long gray hair. I mean, I'll leave rather than try to pull it together.
If I could have long, sweet, gray hair, I would be psyched. I have a feeling though, that I'll just go bald. There are times when I'm like, "Goddamnit, I wanna get Botox." But as a comedy lady, muggin' is my business, so I can't look all frozen-faced. I wouldn't want to get any plastic surge. I mean, I know some comedy ladies who have gotten boob jobs, which I think is insane.
I'd actually just like to try and get some funnier boobs. 'Cause I like them, but mine aren't funny enough.
[laughs] They should offer comedy boob jobs. Like, make one bigger than the other, or make one so that when you squeeze it, it honks. That would be good if you're going to be a comedian.
Actually, what do you think about being a comedian and trying to be attractive or cute?
It's hard to be sexy and funny at the same time. Guys can sometimes pull it off, aka George Clooney. But if you're a woman, often it's one or the other. If you try not to care about what you look like on stage, then you'll be OK. But you can't let your boobs fall out. Though that's never been a problem for me.
They don't come out?
No, they do fall out, but nobody notices. [laughs]
Have you ever heard the phrase "the male gaze?"
Yes, in fact I wanted to use it in Spring Breakdown as a joke, but nobody got it.
How did you use it?
There's a moment where this character, played by the lovely Amber Tamblyn, decides, All right, fuck it, I'm gonna go do this wet-T-shirt contest to get this guy's attention. And we're all trying to get her not to do it, and I'm saying, "Remember your women's studies class! Don't fall victim to the male gaze!" And everyone was like, "Why are you talking about male gays? Gay guys?" But yeah, I studied the male gaze in college with my very interesting, very lesbian professor at BC.
I have this theory that it's not that people don't want to see women being funny, but they're just not used to it. They're used to seeing a movie through their Owen Wilson eyes--through their guy eyes. And it's almost a matter of retraining the audience.
Yes! What I've been doing now is getting my agents to send me scripts that are written for guys. Because sometimes when guys write for women, they freeze up. I had this friend who said he had trouble writing for women, and I said, "Here's my advice: call the guy Larry the whole time, and at the end change it to Susan." 'Cause there's no difference, really.
What are some of your favorite movies lately?
You know what I liked? This was an example of women taking up real estate--you know that Nicole Holofcener movie, Friends with Money? It starred Catherine Keener, who's amazing, Joan Cusack, who's amazing, and Frances McDormand who's amazing. They all look very normal--they have no surge. And it was so luxurious that they were in the whole movie. It was like, "Oh, my God! This is still about them! This is still their story!" It felt like skipping school.
Right, like you kept waiting for John Stamos to walk in and take over. What other movies are there like that?
Nothing lately. I mean, I've been told that the young kids have these movies, which I haven't seen.
The movies on their MySpace?
[laughs] Yeah, their YouTubers or whatever! I think there's more on television right now. I think Six Feet Under was a perfect example of really complex, well-written female characters that never felt precious or shoved-in. It was interesting, because I would talk to my mom about the show, and she was like, "Oh, but that Brenda drives me nuts," and I would be like, "I love her!" And it was such a generational thing about Brenda, about just fucking having it all, having all these choices. My mom was just like, "I didn't have any of those choices. How dare she squander those choices!"
And cheat on that beautiful man.
Oh, goddamn that Peter Krause. One-handed read, y'all.
Do you feel like you are as recognizable now as you would like to be for the rest of your life, or would you like a little or a lot more fame?
I don't know how to answer this question without seeming like a douche. But I have to say it's pretty awesome if young girls come out and say they like you. People have a soft spot in their hearts for comedians. I've hung around with film actors, and when people recognize them, they just kind of whisper, but if you do any kind of comedy, people just come right up to you. But I'm starting way too late if I really wanted to become super-famous, because that's like it's own job. You have to work at it, you have to start early, you have to hire a lot of people...
You have to stay up all night and party, go to Jeremy Piven's house...
[laughs] You have to go to Piv's house. You've got to go to Ibiza every summer. It's exhausting!
Do you and Will ever compete about who's more famous?
Every day! Every morning, we wake up and we measure each other's fame, and he wins every time. But we've been pretty lucky; we worked a long time before anyone outside of our group of friends even knew who we were. But we get psyched when we get free things, I'll tell you that much. We love gift bags. We'll take it. Bring it.
When you got to SNL, did you have the feeling that it was a boys' club?
No, I super-lucked out, because Tina had been there for a couple of years, she was already the head writer. Dratch and Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer and Cheri Oteri were really strong, so I dropped in at a time when things were already pretty egalitarian. I do think it's interesting that that show produces single male stars a lot of the time, but the story about the women on the show always seems to be, "All these girls, aren't they great?" It usually takes three or four of us to make up one male star. At SNL, there have been a lot of guys who have just been really comfortable doing their thing and going on and being successful, so then we [women] are like, "Huh, should we all be more cutthroat?" But that's just not fun. I like that college-dorm feeling of, "Oh, my God, it's Saturday night, we haven't studied--how are we going to put on this show?" Like, let's succeed or fail together.
Do you get nervous when you do the show live? Do you feel like millions are watching?
No, I don't, because it's a studio audience. But I'll admit that doing "Weekend Update" was a challenge for me at the beginning, because it's just hard for me to be myself. I just don't feel as comfortable as I am doing the old gags. I've been doing sketch now for 13 years, so it has gotten to a point where it feels very comfortable--maybe to the point where it's time for me to pack up my sketch bag.
What else do you want to do?
Well, you know, every comedian also wants to be taken seriously sometimes, and I'd love to be able to get to act more. I'm also hoping to start directing, and I want to do some more producing. I'm producing this female sketch group. They're called Variety Shac. I just want more control. You know, you get to a point where you're like, "I think I know as much as everybody here, I just don't have the title. I need the title." Luckily, one of the better things about getting older is that you just get less and less shy about asking for it.
Do you believe in the possibility of a feminist revolution, post MySpace? I mean, do you think that there is something that's going to come after all this porno-ization of America?
That's a good question. I don't know. We were just talking about those American Apparel ads. They're fucking gross, man. Look, I love beautiful girls too. I think everyone should be free to have their knee socks and their sweaty shorts, but I'm over it. I'm over this weird, exhausted girl. I'm over the girl that's tired and freezing and hungry. I like bossy girls, I always have. I like people filled with life. I'm over this weird media thing with all this, like, hollow-eyed, empty, party crap. I don't know, it seems worse than ever, but maybe it's just because we're getting old.
What about the whole Pussycat Dolls version of feminism?
It's so bullshit. I'm sorry, but all that shit about the Pussycat Dolls having dolls for little girls is awful. I never would have thought I would have been nostalgic for the Spice Girls, but I actually am.
I know. I mean, I was at the Grove last night, and every single girl from the age of 12 to like, 60, was dressed up as a porn star.
I guess that once it comes into the adult realm, it's like, "Great, go for it, do your own thing. Sit on cakes. Do whatever the fuck you want." It's just that I get worried for young girls sometimes; I want them to feel that they can be sassy and full and weird and geeky and smart and independent, and not so withered and shriveled.
Well, I've always been super-sex-positive and everything, but sometimes I feel like I want to be a Muslim woman in a burka; I feel like the only way I can get my power back is to peer at the world through a strip. Because I feel like women aren't looking at all anymore--there's no looking left. We're only looked at.
It goes back to our conversation about female comedies, too. Ladies have got to support each other. It's like on Survivor. There are always three ladies and two guys left, and those bitches will not form a goddamn alliance. I don't understand it. It's like, Why will you not form this fucking alliance? At the end of the day, we still just hurt each other. We're so hard on each other. We just have to remember that we are being divided and conquered. We really are. It's the same thing with all this shit about who's mad at whom. It's so boring, while the guys are going and actually having careers--
And making their $20 million movies.
You know what it is? More than it being the Pussycat Dolls thing? It's just distracting from what is real power.
Right. I just feel like any woman out there who is not writing, producing, getting her voice out there, should hurry up, you know? Get to it.
Right! It's just about honoring the fact that, yeah, I should be writing, producing, directing. I should be believing that the world is mine to have. And then, of course, you throw babies into the mix, and it's all crazy, you know. You get your momentum, work hard, get your career going, and all of a sudden, you're like, "Oh, yeah, when am I going to do that part?"
When are you going to do that part?
I don't know. I'd like to soon. It's hard though. I've watched Tina do a really good job of balancing that. Actually, last year was pretty funny between Maya and Tina--I don't think there has ever been more breastfeeding on SNL. I think the Belushi gods were probably stomping their feet at all this.
Belushi said women aren't funny, right?
Yeah.
Actually, I think men aren't funny. I've been noticing lately.
I've been noticing that too, that's so weird. I can't think of any men I think are funny. I've been trying so hard. Except Jerry Lewis. Isn't that weird? He's the only guy I find funny.
They're loud and they know how to drive race cars, but funny is what they are not.
But when people say "women aren't funny," to me it just feels like they're saying, "the earth is flat."
I don't think anyone says that anymore.
No, I don't think anyone says that. Actually, I think that Jerry Lewis did say that once. But maybe he was joking.
What does it feel like for you when you play guys on SNL? I love it when you play boys. I don't know why.
I love it, too; it's superfun. I get to wear flattening pads, which is superfun, and you just get sweaty and you feel so free. It's the same when I play a little girl, at that age when you thought you were going to be a waitress or a scientist or a rock star or a fashion designer--the sky's the limit. No one's told you that you're not pretty enough yet, and boys are still your friends.
And nobody is looking at you and taking away your very soul by imagining you in his bed. Like when you turn 15 and people start thinking about doing things to you.
Like if you're a little girl and you're looking at Paris Hilton, how do you figure that out? I don't know how you do it. God bless all you little girls.
We should end with that, "God bless all you little girls." Do you have any advice for young girls who want to be like you?
Stay with it, because all I did was love Gilda Radner so much that I just went and did whatever she did, so go to Improv Olympic, come take UCB classes in New York or Los Angeles or Chicago. Do it all. Just hang in there, and stay in school. And grow your bush out wide, tall, and proud.