Will Ferrell and Jon Heder may rule the new figure skating comedy Blades of Glory, but Saturday Night Live star Amy Poehler goes for the gold as Fairchild Van Waldenberg, half of a villainous brother-and-sister skating duo opposite her real-life husband Will Arnett. Poehler gave us a weekend update on her queer appeal, her huge lady-crush and her hubbie's top turn-ons.

HX: Ready to have a gay ol' time?
Amy Poehler: Oh, I can't wait! In the old and new sense.

You must know the gays love you, Amy.
Well, Saturday Night Live is run by the gay mafia-- or, as we like to call it, the gay yakuza. [Laughs] The gay people know their comedy and they're fiercely selective. I appreciate it if they think I'm funny because that means I'm doing something right. I hope that maybe someday someone will dress up like me --and perhaps put on a one-person show at The Duplex in New York.

It's inevitable now that you're in a movie about figure skating, which my people enjoy.
And as a straight suburban blue-collar girl, I also enjoyed figure skating. It's very inherently dramatic and there are lot of rivalries, costumes, pageantry and real danger, so it's ripe for a good movie.

Would you say your Blades character is more Nancy Kerrigan or Tonya Harding?
I based my character more on, like, Grace Kelly meets Sonja Henning meets Gloria Swanson. I thought her to be a prima ballerina--the ice queen, if you will. Fairchild is so WASPy with this sugary shell. Really, she's made of marzipan--it looks good from far away, but when you take a bite out of it, it's disgusting.

Your husband Will Arnett and you play a brother and sister. Was that at all creepy?
It was really creepy, but it was super-fun. We don't work together a lot, so we wanted to make sure that if we did, it was something special, and we just laughed so hard at the idea of being a creepy brother-sister combo. There was actually a brother-sister ice skating pair called the Carruthers from my hometown of Burlington, Massachusetts. They won the silver medal in the '84 Olympics. They were like my brush with greatness when I was growing up, and who would've known that 55 years later I would be playing a part like that in a movie?

Will also has quite the gay following, by the way.
Believe me, the highest compliment as a woman is to have your husband wolf-whistled at in the West Village. Oh, he's adorable! I really scored. I don't know what-the-f I did right, but I did something right in my past life to get a handsome, funny hunk of meat and put a ring on that.

The general consensus is that most male figure skaters are gay. After filming Blades, what do you think?
Well, I'll tell you who's a manly man and that's Mr. Scott Hamilton. He is a man's man for reals, y'all. But I would say that there is a certain flamboyance in figure skating that perhaps lends itself to, um--yeah, you know what? Most of the guys are gay [Laughs].

Do you have any lady-crushes?
I know exactly who my lady-crush is right now: Shane from The L Word. Katherine Moennig. She's my jam. I love The L Word. You know what Shane needs? She just needs someone to love her, to help her out, give her a sandwich and take her in. Let me tell you something about Shane: She finds it hard to love, but she loves hard. She just needs someone to take care of her, and I think I'm that someone. I really do. So freakin' cute.

I loved you in Mean Girls--there needs to be a sequel!
I know. God, I was maybe six years older than Rachel McAdams when I played her mother, so I think at this point I'd probably be playing Dakota's Fanning's dead great-great-grandmother who comes back as a ghost.

Do you keep in touch with Lindsay Lohan?
I love Lindsay! I see her now and again. I had a really nice time working with her in Mean Girls and she's been a delight when she's hosted [SNL]. I really root for her.

Assuming you develop some sort of kinship to the characters that you play on SNL, has Britney's latest drama been especially hard on you?
I feel bad for Britney. I feel bad for all those girls. They work so hard and they need a break. My schadenfreude, as I get older, has gotten down to an all-time low, so I'm sending out good vibes her way. I can even imagine everybody taking pictures of you going to get your hair did. It must be so stressful. But I'm telling you, I'm not going to be surprised if Brit-Brit comes back fiercer than ever.

Why was there no bald Britney sketch on SNL?
At the end of the day she's like a 25-year-old girl, and you take on targets you think can handle it. We've definitely poked fun at Britney a million times, and she's poked fun at herself too, but this just didn't quite feel right. Don't get us wrong, I'm sure we'll do something horrible next week.

Out of all the characters that you play on SNL, which one would Will most want to invite into the boudoir?
Hillary Clinton. He's obviously not threatened by a powerful woman--look who he married--and he doesn't mind a woman who speaks her mind. And I think he enjoys a good power suit. That works for him.

I was afraid you'd say Paula Abdul.
I don't think Paula's his type. She's his size, maybe--he likes his shorties--but I'm going to go with H.C. If anything else, they could read the Sunday Times together. And isn't that important?

Blades of Glory (DreamWorks) opens Mar. 30.